mia eats!

a weight loss / fat loss / lifestyle journal

I decided to somewhat give myself a “break”.

Here's lunch:

3 slices of Christmas ham homemade mojos (2 medium sized potatoes, boiled and stir-fried with garlic and salt) cucumber salad 1 banana

I am going to the beach after my work shift and yes, I have meal-prepped. I am bringing with me 3 boiled bananas, 2 sweet potatoes, 2 salted eggs, and 1 canned tuna.

I have also made a decision to go eggetarian.

I'll just consume all the remaining powdered milk and canned tuna at home. I'll give away the remainder of my cheese.

I'm debating whether I should have my final serving of cheesecake before this dietary suicide.

Meal shared at work.

salted egg with tomatoes chayote and string beans in soy sauce, vinegar, and honey sweet potatoes 1 glass pineapple juice 1 candy

and then I had a second breakfast:

yummy

I also had a midnight snack..a couple slices of cheese.

I'm gonna try to weight check later.

Here's what I prepared for lunch:

1 ½ cups mashed squash with chili 1 chicken breast with garlic squash leaves 1 glass pineapple juice

I also gave in to some “dessert”:

3 pcs chubby chewy candy never again uggghh 1 tbsp peanut butter

My final meal will include:

1 oatmeal 1 cup milk

I hope that's gonna be it.

#contemplation

About two days ago, I found myself on the kitchen sink.

Fingers shoved down my throat, I purged.

I ate something I wasn't “supposed” to. It sucked. I sucked.

All I could remember now was how he made me feel fat. How he looked at my body and made remarks about it.

I kind of hate him right now, as much as I hate having a full belly.

I think I'll never feel good about myself again regardless of what I do.

My heavy heart aches with a sadness that nobody else can tell. I feel so alone right now. I want to maybe cry for help but it feels like I don't really have a voice.

I don't know why I'm doing this anymore.

I want a cigarette.

Meal prep:

1 egg 2 tomatoes 1 onion (yes this is scrambled eggs) 4 pcs okra 2 pcs sweet potatoes (small)

Sweet things:

1 cookie 1 tbsp peanut butter 1 glass pineapple juice

And then after my 5-km walk I got famished so I had an emergency second meal (bye 24-hr fast; just doing 18:6 for now)

1 beef mami 1 flat tops 1 glass milk with honey

I think I can now rest and call it a day. Tomorrow, I'll see to it that I follow 20:4 by prepping for 2 meals at work. I rationalized the beef mami choice because the meal I prepped was too low calorie.

I have no excuse for the 1 piece of chocolate.

Since I stuffed food into my belly like a voracious pig yesterday, I am having just one meal today, followed by a 24-hr fast later.

2 cups brewed coffee with cream 1 serving congee soup with 4 meatballs (I bought this from the cafeteria...salty af...instant regret...gotta learn to make my own soups) 2 pcs sweet potato 2 tomatoes 1 salted egg 4 pcs okra

5 km walk home later. Planning to sip on some turmeric and ginger tea, plus do a 30-minute pilates/yoga. I need to work out.

#cheatfood #allergy

I went to the mall to buy instant oats, coffee, tea, powdered milk, and canned tuna. My main task was to get photos printed.

Unfortunately, I made a big mistake by also shoving these unsafe foods down my sorry throat.

10 pcs Korean cakes (moshi manju) half a bag of calbee honey butter chips 1 can sweetened pineapple juice half a shawarma

I couldn't finish the servings because I started to bloat after the korean cakes. I bloated even more after the chips. I came to a conclusion that I am allergic to these types of food.

Now I am suffering from a swollen belly. This huge mistake convinces me to strictly follow my current dietary choices/restrictions.

Now I am sipping some ginger turmeric tea to somehow ease my tummy.

I had a huge breakfast (breaking my 36-hour fast) after shopping for whole foods in the streets and eating in the kitchen, with the sunrise on my face.

It was quite a glorious moment. I've never felt like an organic person in a long time.

1 large sweet potato 1 serving mongo beans soup 1 boiled banana 2 tomatoes, diced 1 salted egg 1 glass milk with 1 tbsp honey 1 slice quezo de bola

I am so full right now. The fed state has never felt so good.

Last night, I was craving potato chips so badly.

I managed a 36-hour fast. Here's the stuff that I put in my mouth:

2 tic tacs Sips of brewed coffee with cream (leftover from yesterday) 1 clove garlic 1 tablespoon white vinegar 1 cigarette

It was crazy. I stayed in bed all day.

It was a carb feast.

plateful of bland pasta 2 servings of sandwiches 1 macaroon few bites of chicken 1 brownie buko pandan, small serving 1 glass iced lemon tea

I was actually disappointed because I was expecting a full course meal that I wouldn't be able to list all down, haha.

Nope, I didn't consume a drop of alcohol.

So that's it.

I think my next cheat day or heavy meal would be on Christmas Eve.

Right now I'm kinda dreaming about brownies and korean cake.

I'm going on an extended fast, >48 hours. I'm now about 12 hours in. I've sipped coffee from yesterday. I'm craving a cigarette. Maybe I'll smoke one.